Saturday, July 21, 2007

Feeling fine

It's eleven days out from my last chemo and I'm feeling fine. Better than fine, actually good to normal. I was tired out yesterday but that might have been work and doctor's appointment. Today I walked! Did a couple of loads of laundry, cleaned up a few things, did a little shopping and went to Jim's folks for a BBQ for his brother's birthday. And I still feel fine.

Maybe it will stay this way?

We are talking about looking at a house tomorrow. I'm nervous because I'm talking myself into this house really easy so if we don't get it, I'll feel disappointed. But no risk, no gain.

My New Years Resolution - Cancer essay I submitted was probably rejected. I say probably because the email response I got was "Thanks, if we want to use it, you'll hear from us, otherwise, hope your life goes well..." But I have sent out two essays in two months as well as two fillers to Family Circle and the St. Louis Post. Pretty good submissions for now. I have a story started for the Cup of Comfort Breast Cancer Survivors call and should finish that up tomorrow am. So that will be three total submissions this week and I have the information for a query letter to either AAA Midwest or Bird Watchers, so I'll get that written and popped off tomorrow as well.

Reading: Finished Survivor by Death, JD Robb. (Good story with a lot of insight into Dallas' and Roarke's emotional makeup from the horrific childhood they both had. ) Finished How to Write Killer Fiction by Carolyn Wheat. (Nice discussion of the difference between mystery and suspense.) Reading Writing for Money by Loriann Hoff Oberlin. (Lots of excellent tips on different ways to make money in the writing area) Gently Down the Stream by Matt Weinstein and Luke Barber. (Business positive!) And Precision Truck Training. A course in mid-range diesels. (Guess which ones are for work!)

I'm actually listening to Breach of Silence (I think) by Sandra Brown which is a romance\suspense novel. I am learning a lot about story arc's and chapter hook endings And its a break from all the mysterys I had been listening to.

I watched a season of The Next Food Network Star the other night (love Tivo) and dreamed that my actions were being judged all night. So I have to mix up my sensory input until the Taxol gets out of my system.

Jim's home after being out of town all week. And I wrote while he was gone. Happy dance.


Friday, July 06, 2007

New computer stuff...

And my computer at work took a dive so I'm working at someone else's desk. Don't know what I'm going to do on Monday But at home, I have a wireless keyboard and mouse. I have to say the mouse is very fast for me and I can't find the delete key on the keyboard so I keep having lines in my writing. But I love it. I think just because its new.

I wrote a short essay but have lots of work to do on it. My writing style is very formal, especially when I write about the cancer. Maybe I'm trying to distance myself from it.

Jim is unhappy that his insurance is costing so much and I'm worried about the budget and trying to get old bills paid off so we can buy a house next year. Life never completely slides by does it? No truly easy patch where you can say everything's so fine it's boring. Maybe only the lucky ones get to say that. I keep digging out to have the dirt fall back on me twice as deep.

Well, today is Homer's surgury so I better get in the shower and take him in. Hopefully this will calm him down a little. Air show this weekend at Scott's Air Force Base.


Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Must go on....

I feel like I'm that guy in the desert crawling toward an oasis. One more treatment. Two more shots. Count down has begun. I know I'm doing radiation too but getting Chemo over is a huge milestone. And there are no more Cat or Bone scans. If there was more cancer, they would have found it by now. So except for the little cells running around my body, I'm cancer free right now. So next is radiation and then a pill every day to keep the cancer at bay.

Jim doesn't want to go down to the levee to see the fireworks. Too many people. But I do. Cyndi Lauper will be singing at 8pm. I may be fooling myself that I can even do it this year. Push push and maybe everything will be alright.

Reading: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The one I couldn't remember was Vanish by Tess Gunderson? Now it's Iris Johonnson and the Eve Duncan character who has this scared voice all the time on the tape. Iris writes a lot about parenting in these suspense novels. I realize that's more what I write is suspense, not mystery.

Later, gotta go to work.