MIA

Well, I know I haven't posted but I have a couple good excuses. Mostly, my computer has been down and it seems like we are sharing an internet connection rather than it working like it is suppose to where we both can get on. So I've been borrowing computer time from Jim and then checking email, etc at work. It's funny how much you have stored in your own computer and how much of a pain it is to change up.

So where was I when I last posted. March 14th. I probably was still in the throws of the metatisis scare. The bump on my shoulder blade that looked like it was neck rather than in the breast cancer line of fire. Well, I re did a CT scan, thinking NO CANCER. NO CANCER. all the time. And it has come back that it is still localized. Thank God, big sigh of relief.

Its funny, I was waiting for my first oncology appointment looking at hats and wigs catalog feeling sorry for myself that I was going to lose my hair but when I thought I was going to lose my life, my hair didn't seem to be that big of thing. Now that I've had my first Chemo and second is the upcoming Tuesday, I'm worried about my hair again. I ordered a wig but now I'm concerned that the insurance will not cover it even though the care coordinator I talked to said they would.

Chemo makes me nauseous (but no vomiting this round) and very tired for days after. Then I get shots that make my back hurt, nauseous, and have diarrea. As far as eating, I now know the definition and execution of emotional eating. I eat to feel better, to feel normal, because I can, and lastly, because I need to. But mostly I eat. Cookies, candy, soda, anything that "comforts" me, especially mashed potatos. I am an Idaho girl! But one round of eight is done and only 7 more to go.

I am still fighting for co pay assistance to allow me to get the shots delivered at home so I give them myself rather than go to the hospital every day for seven days after the Chemo. My co pay for the drug is $514 up to $1500 max out of pocket. This is why you are told to save for a rainy day cuz its pouring around here. I guess there is no good time to get cancer, but this is probably the worst time financially for us. I did work full time this week for the first time since I got back, but next week, I know I'll lose at least a day due to the Chemo. I should be counting my blessings that I am able to work and that my insurance is as good as it is, which I am thankful for. I am doing some mystery shops on Monday to try to bring a little more funds into the household, but I wonder if I'm just setting myself up to fail again. I 'd like to find a little publication here like at home where I could write a monthly article for and get paid for it. Need to do some more research.

Speaking of writing which is what this blog is suppose to be about, I wrote in my novel twice this week. So, I need to get off here and make it three days which is amazing. I haven't written this much since I was taking classes.

Be good to each other and live happy.